Before arriving in Bulgaria I did some reading about the country, and, from what I could gather, Bulgaria’s main claims to fame were a tortured history, its mountains, the Black Sea coast, and its women (жени). Numerous travel writers, including Rick Steves and Bill Bryson, have gushed about Bulgarian women. Naturally, I couldn’t wait to get here and see for myself what all the fuss was and is about.
It took me a while, but, after two months, I finally scored my first Bulgarian girlfriend. I’ve long been a sucker for a girl with big brown eyes, and my girlfriend is no different. She’s a natural blond and the object of everyone’s affection. She’s not perfect. She has bad breath, a big nose, floppy ears, and very sharp teeth. She’s a sloppy kisser, and she’s not particularly well behaved. She’s a bit short for my tastes, and she’s also a little young for me. Heck, she isn’t even fully potty trained yet. But she loves me unconditionally and enjoys many of the same things I enjoy – going for walks, playing outside, eating gluttonous amounts of food. Best of all, she’s OK with me seeing other women. Her name is Pupa. I think you’d like her.